ESSAY
5 )"What Do I Do?"

       I stood there, still, in disbelief. I couldn't believe what I saw. I tried to scream, but my voice was stuck, nothing would come out. I wanted to cry, I wanted to call for help, but I couldn't. I was like a doll, couldn't move, couldn't think, and couldn't talk. My mind was blank as I stretched out my hands to touch him. I didn't know what I was doing. I felt cold. I was shivering. I was scared. Tears emerged. My thoughts came back and I started to panic. I didn't know what to do. I touched his face- it was so cold. I cried harder. I yelled out his name, trying to wake him up. I rapidly shook his body. I wanted him to open his eyes. I wanted him to look at me. I wanted him to talk to me and call my name but he wouldn't react. He maintained his lifeless position. I got frustrated and I started to scream.

       "You said you loved me! You said you'd never leave me! You've promised" I was crying- crying so hard. Then I became angry because he lied to me and left me here, alone, by myself. Then I started to hate. I wanted to blame someone for his death. I wanted revenge. I wanted him to come back to me. I was going mad. I held his body close to mine and we remained like that.

       The sun was beginning to set, and I grew quiet. My tears stained my cheeks, and his blood stained my clothes. I began to look in a distance. A distance so far, it seemed like I was looking away from reality, and I paralyzed. I started singing a lullaby to him like a mother would to her child. I felt empty- void. I glanced down at him. He looked so peaceful- and very beautiful. I missed him. I loved him, and I want him back. Tears filled my eyes once more. Our memories flashed back. My heart ached so much. I was so tired. Why had this happened to me? Why him? I didn't understand. I caressed his face and wished that he would open his pretty brown eyes and look at me again. I knew it won't happen and it never will, but I still wished, and I still hoped.

       The night fell, and it grew cold. I became weary from dehydration. I lay down beside him and looked into the sky. Unlike in the city, you could see many stars. The sight was breathtaking. I started talking to him about the times we've spent watching the stars together and how everything began for us. I knew he could hear me-he just wasn’t replying. He never was the kind of guy to talk much. I was always the one doing the talking. Finally, I couldn't stand him not responding. "Why don't you say something!?" I screamed, breaking the silence of the night, with more tears trickling down my face. Right after I screamed I heard trees rustling and a warm gush of wind came before me and I heard him answer me in the wind, I could hear him say "Baby, don't cry. I love you."

I smiled with tears still falling and I whispered, "I love you too…and I wish that you'd come back. I miss you already." I closed my eyes and felt his warmth surrounding me…